Sex Education (rated PG 13)

Troy and I have spent a lot of time talking about how/when we will talk to our girls about certain subjects and I thought we had a pretty good system worked out. When Hallee turned 8 we took her on a special date night and explained a few things gently and vaguely.

Then a few nights ago all that changed.

While driving in the car the other night Hope said something that I didn't like (can't remember what it was). Anyway I asked her where she had heard that and she said that her friend at school had said it. Which led me into the whole "just because your friends do it/say it does not make it okay" discussion. I then started in on "Hope, don't you remember the talk in Stake Conference today when the woman told the story about the boy who..." and then I paused realizing what I was about to say.

EDITORS NOTE: The woman told a story about a college boy who was in a leadership training exercise where they asked them a series of questions and then they had to go to an area of the room marked "strongly disagree, strongly agree, agree or disagree." They then made the statement "I believe in premarital sex" and everyone in the group went to the agree location except for this one boy. They all mocked him a little and thought he couldn't be serious but he stood his ground and stood up for what he believed.

Back to the story. So I pause and look at Troy with a "what should I say" face. He looks at me and says, "just tell them". I hesitate so Troy just fills in the gap and says, "it was the boy who didn't believe in premarital sex." He barely got the words out of his mouth before Hope chimed in. And so it goes....

Hope: "Dad what's sex?
Me: Laughing. "Well, there ya go dad." I say in the whole "I-told-ya-so" kind of voice.
Hope: "DAD!" What is sex?
Now any of you who know Hope know that she is a very detail oriented person and asks a million questions until she is satisfied that she understands the topic.
Troy: "Um, Hope it is just something you will learn about when you are older."
Hope: "DAD!! I'm serious! What is sex?
Hallee: "Hope, just don't worry about it!"
Me: Hysterically laughing.
Hope: "What is it?"
I was totally unprepared for Troy's split decision explanation. Warning: it might make you blush!
Troy: "Hope, boys and girls have different parts and when you put those parts together that's called sex and it helps you to make a baby."
Me: With a look of horror, shock and laughing hysterically. "What the what?"
Hope: "Wait? I'm confused. Like you put your parts together?" And like rub them around or something?"
Troy and I are both struggling to compose ourselves now.
Troy: "Something like that Hope."
Short Pause....
Hope: "Well why don't you and mom put your parts together so we can have a baby then!"

Holy crud. I seriously thought I was going to wet my pants. I could barely function I was laughing so hard! So much for our delicate way of talking about it.

And that's when the reality of it started to set in. I could hear the phone calls coming in from parents wondering why our daughter was teaching their child what sex was. Time for some damage control.

I did my best to compose myself and then took the spiritual approach and explained that it was a very sacred and special thing that Heavenly Father has created to help bring children to this world but we also know that it is only to be done after we are married even though Satan tries to convince people otherwise. That seemed to suffice her inquisitive mind and the conversation ended with Hallee asking, "Can we please just turn on the radio now!"

So, just in case any of you were wondering how to break it to your children you MAY or may NOT want them to hang around Hope for the next little while. Or maybe you just want Troy to take care of it for you. I'm sure he'd be happy to help out.