Tuesday, November 4, 2008

More Lessons Learned

Two days ago I would have labeled this post "SPECTACULAR!" As in spectacular things are happening around our house. Now, we'll just label it "LESSONS LEARNED." I'll back up a bit...

Before Troy gave the girls their back to school father's blessings we sat down and talked about the individual needs of each of our children. We have always realized that Hallee's greatest strenghts could also be her downfall. She is so sweet, considerate of other's and has such a tender heart. She wants to please everyone and this sometimes this can result in the "doormat" effect. She tends to follow the crowd and has a hard time making her own decisions. Sometimes I wonder if this is because I didn't allow her to make many as she was growing up. It was just easier to make them for her.
So Troy and I decided to really focus on helping Hallee develop leadership skills; the ability to stand up for herself, make her own decisions, and be a leader and a good example. We have had many debates on how to balance this act out, not wanting to loose her sweetness or her kind heart along the way. We have said many prayers in her behalf, had countless teaching moments, and lots of bedtime discussions.

The other day during one of our "how was school today?" talks I saw God's hand at work. I had to fight back the tears (and a little bit of laughter) as she very dramatically told me about the different "groups" forming at school and how each one acts and treats others. I was able to hear how she has made decisions on her own, stand her ground, and choose friends who are kind to one another. It took a little restraint to not stand up on my chair and jump up and down. I was so proud of her!

As I was talking to Troy that night we realized how this is just the start of it. As we looked back on the last few months we have seen SO much growth in her. It was a true testament to the power of prayer and the council to pray for the individual needs of our children.

Now I wish I could say that we are on our way and we will never look back but I'm afraid it's just the beginning. We will still have quite a few lessons ahead of us. For example, yesterday as I got ready to take Hallee to dancing and decided I needed to break some news to her that I knew would be a little disappointing. Her best friend received the Dancer of the Month award again. Her friend is an incredibly gifted dancer and deserves it in every way shape and form. It is only given to a few students out of the entire studio. Now try explaining that to your six year old. Her tears instantly fell as I tried my best to explain this to her. It didn't help the situation that just the day before we had a similar discussion when Hope came home from primary with the reverence award for the third time. We talked about being happy for our friends and family and being proud of their accomplishments, that it's okay to be disappointed and you just need to keep doing your best even if you don't get recognized for it. Pretty complex topics for a young child. May take a few years to get a handle on this one... In fact, sometimes I think I still need to work on it myself.

6 comments:

JoRae aka Lolae said...

I just have to say, you are an awesome mom. Your children will look back on what you have done for them and taught them while growing up and they will be extremely thankful. What a great reward.

Brittney said...

will you pseudo-adopt my kids? thanks.

Krista said...

Woah- you aren't kidding-complex topics! Does it seem that it all starts happening so much younger these days. I'm impressed at how you guys are handling it all so well. Way to go.

Daisie said...

Wow, it is crazy to think what we have ahead for ourselves as well! I am so glad you shared this post, you guys are such good parents! And I agree, I think I need to work on this stuff for myself too!

Post-it Notes said...

Love this post! I need to work on that with Kennedy "be happy for your friends etc". I think you did a great job of explaining it! Thanks!

394bull said...

I have often found that I teach best what I most need to learn. Maybe because I have focused and worked on it for myself so much. This being said, I can't find much in life that you have not contemplated. I am so proud of you and Troy and how blessed your girls are to have the parents Heaven allowed them.

Tom & Diane